Friday, July 20, 2007

Adventures of The MaMu - 1: Joy Ride

Our MaMu is one amazing character - she is nothing short of *The World's Greatest MaMu*. Her antics make extremely entertaining conversation topics that hold listeners enthralled. I think it's the way she makes ordinary things seem so extraordinary. If something can be achieved in one short n simple step, MaMu will happily go ahead and do it in a 1001 steps, each more complicated than the previous one. But, but, but, but, but... one good thing about MaMu is that she never regrets whatever she does. Even if she makes a mistake, she takes it as a learning experience and moves ahead. She has only her Mom to thank for that wonderful bit of teaching. But again, that's also the reason why she does not repeat a mistake and makes new ones every time ;) Let me tell you about her latest adventure...

Now apna MaMu is doing her Phd in this hallowed institution called the Indian Institute of Science at Bengaluru and stays at her Aunt's place nearby. It was past 9pm one night and MaMu could not induce any autowallah to drop her home. Rather than taking a bus, which was the obvious alternative, MaMu decided to cycle back home. So out came the maroon BSA Lady Bird onto the mean streets of Bengaluru. The IISc subway was navigated safely; that too without getting off the bicycle while climbing up the steep slope. It was proof to the fact that IISc Aerobics had strengthened her leg muscles considerably. She crossed over from SID into the heavily crowded Marramma circle and somehow managed to get onto Margosa Road. Dodging the BMTC buses and the multitude of two wheelers carrying people home, MaMu came upto the 15th cross without any event. But at 15th cross the adventure, rather, the misadventure began.

Street lights are non-existent in Bengaluru or if present, either do not work, or the dim diffused light that issues forth from the ones that work, is completely blocked by the dense tree cover at the sides of the road. On the whole, be it day or night, roads in Bengaluru are always on the darker side. It so happens that at 15th cross there is a huge speed breaker whose presence is felt only when one climbs on top of it. In the dark night with vehicular lights glaring into her eyes, MaMu noticed the speed breaker only when she went flying over it at full speed and banged right into an auto that was coming in the wrong direction! Good God! What a BANG it was! Thankfully MaMu had the sense to swerve away right in time and went skidding down the road with her bicycle. No one was hurt except poor MaMu. But even before she could pick herself up from the road, she was greeted with a string of the choicest abuses in chaste Kannada from the autowallah. What on earth! He was on the wrong side of the road, not her! Mamu should have been the one shouting at him! Stupid fellow! At that very moment MaMu resolved to learn Kannada at the earliest. When in Bengaluru, do as the Bengulurians do - curse in pure, unadulterated Kannada!

Shaking and shivering from head-to-toe, MaMu picked up her bicycle, made sure there were no broken bones and began cycling homeward slowly. There were no further casualties till she reached home, but what an effort it was to drag her poor battered body and soul home! By the time she finished dinner, both her feet had swollen to look like soccer balls and her spine was crying out in deep anguish. Poor MaMu took a painfully long time to fall asleep :( (and the pun here is very much intended!)

Another resolve that MaMu made that fateful night was to never again ride a vehicle on her own through the Bengaluru traffic. But that promise had to be broken almost immediately. What about the bicycle she had brought from the institute? That had to go back. And so, the next morning found MaMu riding her bicycle through Yeshwanthpur circle instead of Maramma circle, which contrary to her belief was even more crowded with office goers and school goers than the Maramma circle had ever been. She finally let out a deep sigh of relief as she entered the campus and made her way to the department. She was happy to be alive!

That ends the first adventure of The MaMu in Namma Bengaluru. For more interesting (?!) anecdotes keep reading this blog :)

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Much Ado about Nothing...

Here's what Sid Baab has to say about, well... Nothing!


In IIT-B lingo... this one's a GOD POST!!! Hail Sid Baab! ^:)^

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Laugh Away Ur Blues :)

Today's July the 1st, 'World laughter day', n they coudn't have chosen a better day for it, cause today's GAURAV'S BIRTHDAY :))
HAPPY BUDDAY GAURU... ashichi saglyaanka haasayta raab :D
Lotsa love from Minnie Mouse ;)

Here are a few one liners and jokes to brighten up ur day...

* Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other

* Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river

* Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away ;)

* Experiments must be reproducible; they should all fail in the same way :D

* How 2 catch a lion?

Ø Newton Method: Let, the lion catch you. For every action there is equal and opposite reaction. Implies you caught lion.
Ø Einstein Method: Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion. Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can trap it easily.
Ø Software Engineer Method: Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion. If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.
Ø Rajnikanth Method: Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime.The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.
Ø Karan Johar Method: Send a lioness into the forest. Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other. Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion. First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness. But 2nd lioness loves both lions. Now send another lioness (third) into the forest. You don't understand right...ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont!
Ø Govinda method: Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.
Ø Maneka Gandhi method: Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.
Ø George Bush method: Link the lion with Osama Bin Laden and shoot him!!!
Ø Ravi Shastri method: Ask the lion to bowl at u. U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run .

* Whatz a PJ ?
Obviously "a poor joke"
Whatz a (P + i J)?
A "complex poor joke"
Why don't people laugh on a "complex poor joke" ?
Bcoz the joke part of it is imaginary :o

This one's for all ze wemen...
One day, three men were hiking and unexpectedly came upon a large raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do so.
The first man prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the strength to cross this river." Poof!" God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours, after almost drowning a couple of times.
Seeing this, the second man prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the strength and the tools to cross this river." Poof!" God gave him a rowboat and he was able to row across the river in about an hour, after almost capsizing the boat a couple of times.
The third man had seen how this worked out for the other two, so he also prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength and the tools and the intelligence to cross this river." And Poof! God turned him into a woman. SHE looked at the map, hiked upstream a couple of hundred yards, then walked across the bridge :P :D

Remember, Laughter is THE BEST medicine. Keep smiling and laugh away ur blues... Have fun! :D