Laugh Away Ur Blues :)

Today's July the 1st, 'World laughter day', n they coudn't have chosen a better day for it, cause today's GAURAV'S BIRTHDAY :))
HAPPY BUDDAY GAURU... ashichi saglyaanka haasayta raab :D
Lotsa love from Minnie Mouse ;)

Here are a few one liners and jokes to brighten up ur day...

* Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other

* Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river

* Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away ;)

* Experiments must be reproducible; they should all fail in the same way :D

* How 2 catch a lion?

Ø Newton Method: Let, the lion catch you. For every action there is equal and opposite reaction. Implies you caught lion.
Ø Einstein Method: Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion. Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can trap it easily.
Ø Software Engineer Method: Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion. If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.
Ø Rajnikanth Method: Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime.The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.
Ø Karan Johar Method: Send a lioness into the forest. Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other. Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion. First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness. But 2nd lioness loves both lions. Now send another lioness (third) into the forest. You don't understand right...ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont!
Ø Govinda method: Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.
Ø Maneka Gandhi method: Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.
Ø George Bush method: Link the lion with Osama Bin Laden and shoot him!!!
Ø Ravi Shastri method: Ask the lion to bowl at u. U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run .

* Whatz a PJ ?
Obviously "a poor joke"
Whatz a (P + i J)?
A "complex poor joke"
Why don't people laugh on a "complex poor joke" ?
Bcoz the joke part of it is imaginary :o

This one's for all ze wemen...
One day, three men were hiking and unexpectedly came upon a large raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do so.
The first man prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the strength to cross this river." Poof!" God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours, after almost drowning a couple of times.
Seeing this, the second man prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the strength and the tools to cross this river." Poof!" God gave him a rowboat and he was able to row across the river in about an hour, after almost capsizing the boat a couple of times.
The third man had seen how this worked out for the other two, so he also prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength and the tools and the intelligence to cross this river." And Poof! God turned him into a woman. SHE looked at the map, hiked upstream a couple of hundred yards, then walked across the bridge :P :D

Remember, Laughter is THE BEST medicine. Keep smiling and laugh away ur blues... Have fun! :D