Ze Englis Languag

Since I'm quite busy concentrating on my research work [;)], I really can't find enough time to pen my thoughts. So here are two more forwards I received, all about la langue anglais...n don't I agree with them! I'm sure you will too... ENJOYYYYYYYYY !!! N if any of you know the authors of these two wonderful texts, please please do let me know... THEY ABSOLUTELY ROCK & must be given due credit for this excellent bit of writing :)

------------ The English Language-----------------

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple or pine in pineapple.

And while no one knows what is in a hotdog, you can be pretty sure it isn't canine.

English muffins were not invented in England nor French fries in France.

Sweetmeats are candies, while sweet breads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted.

But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly,

boxing rings are square, and guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth?

One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, two meese? Is cheese the plural of choose?

One mouse, 2 mice. One louse,2 lice. One house, 2 hice?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Why do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?

Ship by truck or car and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

How can the weather be hot as heck one day and cold as heck another?

When a house burns up, it burns down.

You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on.

You get in and out of a car, yet you get on and off a bus.

When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?

English is a silly language ... it doesn't know if it is coming or going !!!

------------- Ze Englis Languag -----------------

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt ENGLISH as the preferred language for European communications, rather than GERMAN, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will, this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand echozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru !!!!

Happy Anniversary !!! :)

Hey Amchi Gang, guess what? Today's our first anniversary :) Surprised that I didnt mention anything about it earlier? That's cause I wanted to write this blog post n surprise U all :) Well, here's the entire story, from the horse's, rather the mare's mouth ...

It all started way back in July 2005 when I started the Amchis group on Orkut. It was an attempt to get to know other Chitrapur Saraswat youth on Orkut.com. And if I could search for Amchis on the world wide web, would I spare any efforts to find them on campus at IIT-B !!!

Chetana Baliga (aka Bastet aka CB) was my cutie pie department junior. Kunal Kundaje (KaKe aka KK) I met through the Orkut Amchi group. Rather, it was KK who found that I was a student at IIT-B just like him and also introduced me to H4 ka Hero Ashish Balsawer (aka AB). AB got Siddharth Tallur (aka ST aka Sid aka Shrek) to join the gang. And just btw, Sid is the youngest member of the group, hence lovingly called Sid Baab :) Alongwith me, that is Maya Murdeshwar (aka Maya Pachi aka MM), the five of us formed the AMCHI GANG @ IIT-B :) :) :)

The Amchi GangSTARS: (l-r) ST, KK, AB, MM n CB

Oh boy! And did we have fun! We had our very first Amchi meet on the 23rd of April 2006, in Room No. 202, H10, my hostel room that is. And in true Amchi style, it was a total foodie thing, an Amchi Me-Eat :) There were delicious Phenoris and Besan Undes provided especially for the occasion by Sid's Amma (bless her!); there were slices of a yummy, juicy apple; there were chocolates courtsey Chocoboy KK; and not to forget the one and only, yummilicious (???) hybrid of kaallya phovu and normal phovu, the unique Maya Pachi's Putchi Phovu (Clap! Clap! Clap!). And to wash this all down, we had icy cool Kokum Sherbat... mmmmmmmmmm.... But of course, there was lots n lots of chitter-chatter in Konkani... what a treat, both to the tummy and to the ears!

The yummilicious food n drink

Maya Pachi's Putchi Phovu

We kept meeting on and off after that, at the Boat house besides Powai lake, and at innumerable restaurants demanding and ensuring treats from each other. There were also the nightly chat sessions on the IIT-B LAN and then the very recent spate of e-mails in which the Amchi Girls tried their level best to get the Male Sloths out of their hibernation - aestivation cycle... n succeeded only with young Sid Sloth. The older sloths simply refused to be roused from their hibernation! ;)

Today, we have all drifted apart. AB is working for Maersk Oil in Qatar, KK's got a fat pay packet from I-forget-whom :) CB's done with her Masters in Biotech, Sid's leaving for Cornell for his internship, and I'm in Bangalore doing my PhD. But we all are very much in touch and keep recalling the wonderful moments we spent in each others' company. To put it in Sid's words...

Endsems draw near, leaving me with little time As my fellow amchis pass out, I made this little rhyme To my best friends ever, a small tribute Try as I might, I won't be able to forget The times we spent together No matter where we all go now A promise let's all make Never to forget one another Our amchi group shall forever last.

Amen to that, Sid Baab... so shall it be :)

And finally, my dear Amchi GangSTARS,

Love Ya All ... Keep Smiling, Always :)
~ Maya Pachi

Put down the Glass !

One of those e-mail forwards that really needs to be treasured and of course, followed... Thanks Tanvir for passing it along :)

Once A professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it. He held it up for all to see; asked the students, "How much do you think this glass weighs?

'50gms!' ?....'100gms!' .....'125gms' ......the students answered.

'I really don't know unless I weigh it,' said the professor, 'but, my question is: What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?' 'Nothing' the students said.

'OK, what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?' the professor asked. Your arm would begin to ache' said one of the students.

'You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?' Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis; have to go to hospital for sure! ventured another student; all the students laughed.

'Very good. But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?' asked the professor. 'No', replied the students. 'Then what caused the arm ache, the muscle stress? Instead what should I do?' The students were puzzled. 'Put the glass down!' said one of the students.

'Exactly!' said the professor, 'Life's problems are something like this. Hold it for a few minutes in your head, they seem OK. Think of them for a long time, they begin to ache. Hold it even longer, they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything.'

It's important to think of the challenges (problems) in your life, but EVEN MORE IMPORTANT to 'put them down' at the end of every day before you go to sleep. That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh, strong, can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way!

Remember friends - PUT THE GLASS DOWN TODAY!

That's life !!!!!!!!!!!!!!